Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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