you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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