i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
