but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
