loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
