Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
P.S. I can't hear my feet
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
