Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
