This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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