I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
