Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
