shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
