So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
