Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
