There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
