I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We had sex on a dog bed..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
