At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
