She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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