Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
