You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
