Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize