shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
