one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think your dad took our porno
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
