do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
