I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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