chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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