can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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