Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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