wat bout pragnant strippers??
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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