So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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