I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
