Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
