Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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