Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
