I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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