Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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