I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
