I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she told me i tasted like america
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
third nipple confirmed
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My feet surprised me
Randomize
