I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
