that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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