I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize