i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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