When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize