Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
