End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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