So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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