But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
