at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
