That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
