we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just want nice things and good sex
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
