Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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