it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
