my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
