I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
