some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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