do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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