Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
