Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
